Swindle My Way Into Your Heart
by JM.Fanatic
Summary: James quit Big Time Rush without warning or reason, leaving everyone in question. Everyone except Logan, who was the reason for his sudden departure. Logan is overwhelmed with guilt and can't help but reflect on what happened to cause James to leave... KOGAN/JAGAN RxR This is AlvinSevilleIsHOT under a new name.


WOW, it has been a very long time since I've been active up here. Hope I haven't been forgotten. So as for those who know me (btw, this is AlvinSevilleIsHOT), you can obviously see that I'm starting up something knew. I know I'm known for AatC fanfiction and maybe I'll start up in that fandom again, but for now it's BTR.

Now, this is my second BTR story. The first can be found on my tumblr account. You can find the URL in my profile. Anyway, I hope you like it. Tell me how I do. Give me some constructive criticism on what I can do differently or improve on.

Enjoy!

**_BTR_**

Kendall, Carlos, and I sat in the conference room waiting for Scott to come into the room. I noticed right away that James wasn't there, and I couldn't help but to feel a little bothered by that. My mind immediately went back to a few nights ago. He had taken it so hard when I called it off. And afterwards his attitude changed toward not only me, but toward Kendall as well.

So with him missing, and Scott coming in to tell us something important that affects the show and the group, I couldn't help but to get a little nervous.

I noticed Carlos look around; he was obviously looking for James. "Anyone seen James?" he asked.

"Yeah, where is he?" Kendall added on. "It's not like him to miss a meeting, especially when Scott calls it. He's usually the first here."

I shrugged. "Who knows? He just might be with Scott right now," I suggested, but secretly hoped.

A moment later Scott finally came into the room and…there was no James. Oh this could not be good.

Scott stood at the head of the table. "Alright guys, I have some important news as you know. It's about James…"

My nervousness increased.

Scott cleared his throat. "James…quit last night," he finally announced.

Great. The one option I did not want to consider.

"What?" came Carlos's shocked voice. "He quit? Why?"

Scott shook his head. "He didn't give a specific reason. He simply said that things just weren't working out how he thought, and he couldn't take being here anymore."

I sighed. Because of me.

"This is crazy," Kendall said. "He could've said _something_ to us. I mean, we never got the impression he didn't enjoy this. _I_ didn't, at least. Did you guys?"

Carlos shook his head. "No…"

"Not at all…" I mumbled.

Scott sighed. "Well I guess it doesn't matter now. We have to discuss what's next after this." He took a seat. "I know this is big news but…"

His voice faded out as I stopped listening. My mind was on James. Big news? That didn't come close to describing how serious this was. Kendall and Carlos love him like a brother… I love him much more than that. How could he just _leave_? I know he wasn't happy about my decision, but he shouldn't have let me end his dream. He loves being a part of Big Time Rush. If anything, his love for the group should have kept him here.

"…To move on from here…" Scott's voice faded back in.

I looked around at the three other guys in the room. They were really discussing how to move on _without_ James? _Less_ than twenty-four hours after he quit? What _is_ that?

I pushed my chair from the table and stood. "Sorry. I need a minute." I didn't bother looking at the others to see what they thought of that. I just needed to get away from all the discussion. I couldn't talk about this right now.

I hurried from the conference room and headed outside. I needed to clear my head. I couldn't even _begin_ to fathom how to keep this going without James. No one could possibly replace him and nothing would ever be the same without him.

A couple of minutes later I was standing outside, my eyes closed as I took deep breaths. I needed to clear my head. The group depended on it. That didn't mean I was going back in that conference room to be an active participant in the discussion, but I would try to make this transition as easy as possible for everyone else. The last thing they needed was an emotional me criticizing every decision made that didn't involve James, which, as of now, would be all of them.

I sighed. How could he just quit? This was his dream, what he worked so hard to get. He couldn't just quit. He just couldn't. He needed to be here and we needed him here.

This sudden flash of anger and determination went through me and I took out my phone, immediately dialing James's number. He had to come back. I waited for him to answer, but after five rings, I knew he wasn't. I didn't hang up, though. He had to hear me one way or another. Soon the voicemail came on and I waited for the beep before speaking.

"James, hey, it's Logan. We just had a meeting with Scott and…I can't believe you quit. I thought this was your dream, what you've always wanted to do. We've all been through so much, so many good and bad times, and now it's like it was all a waste. You just left, leaving all your hard work behind you. This is your _dream_, James. You shouldn't let me, or anyone else, affect that. I'm sorry things didn't go the way you want, but that doesn't mean you up and quit your dream because of it. That's so…so…cowardly! You just _ran away_! Your decision doesn't only affect you. It affects all of us, some more than others. We all want you here and you don't care. You don't care about us…and you don't care about you, obviously. If you did, you would still be here making things work for _you_. You wouldn't let anyone make or break your career but you. But you aren't here and you let someone else decide your fate for you. It's not right…You'll never be truly happy with anything else and you know it. You have to come back, you just have to. For you."

When I hung up, I realized that somewhere in the middle of all that I had started crying. So much for calming down. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and turned to go back in the building so I could go to my dressing room, only to find Kendall standing there watching me. I stared at him, trying to come up with something to say. But I couldn't. I just shook my head.

He understood. He walked over to me and wrapped me in hug. He just held me as I cried on his shoulder, rubbing my back trying to comfort me while I clutched his shirt tightly in my hands.

"He…has to come back…" I got out somehow.

He sighed. "James made his choice, Logan. I know it's hard and as much as I agree with you, we're all just going to have to live with it and just see how things go."

I cried a bit harder because I knew he was right. James made his choice and I was going to have to live with it. It was my fault he left, after all. I played with and then broke his heart. Why would he want to be around me after that? I wouldn't want to be around me after that.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Kendall asked after a moment. "I'll make things clear to Scott." He was such a great boyfriend.

I nodded. I needed to get out of there. "Please."

Without another word, his arms still around me, he walked me to his car. Once there, he unlocked the door and opened the passenger side door for me and I got inside. Before he closed the door, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, giving me a slow kiss. When he broke away, he cupped my cheek and said softly, "I love you."

I sighed lightly. "I love you, too…"

He gave me a reassuring smile before backing up and closing the door. The ride home was mostly quiet. Kendall tried to cheer me up on occasion, but nothing would get my mind off of it. This isn't something I would be able to ignore, even if I wanted to. Eventually, Kendall gave up, seeing as I wasn't taking to his attempts at encouragement, and instead switched on the radio for the rest of the ride.

When we arrived home I immediately headed for the bedroom, barely registering that Kendall was right behind me. I didn't bother changing before I crawled into bed and collapsed onto it. "I'm gonna call Scott and tell him what's up." I nodded, shutting my eyes, suddenly growing very tired. I felt his lips press to my forehead, before pulling back. "It's gonna be okay, Logie." I heard his whisper to me as I was overcome with sleep.

For awhile, I dreamt of nothing, but once that passed I began dreaming about the things that happened months ago, how the things that happened between James and I started…

**_BTR_**

How'd I do? Let me know. Reviews please!

~Jade


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